In a world full of superficiality and dating apps, it’s hard to act yourself….
This question spewed from a conversation I was having the other night. How do we put the brakes on interviewing and impressing each other so constantly that we lose substance at our finger tips?
The most common answers from a group of women were 3 things: First Impression, Consistency, and Controlled Temper.
First and foremost we all agreed that looks aren’t everything. A Confidant Self Esteemed Woman quickly weeds out looks when they notice nasty arrogance, womanizing, or a man totally self-absorbed. Looks were just perks if followed by the rest……
We agreed that what we expected from a man, is also what we expect from ourselves. Almost 100% of the time, the first real impression that catches our eyes and tickles our feet, is how a man treats someone else ‘without the man noticing that we’re noticing’. For example, we notice you when we’re standing there in a circle of friends and we see you intentionally include someone who hasn’t been able to engage yet. We notice you hold the door for the person behind you, or watch how quickly you stop what your doing to help someone out. We watch how you listen to people. We get infatuated by the variety of conversation styles you can hold with an open mind and notice if your engaged, transparent, and trying to self-educate yourself. We notice if your quick to engage in gossip or how you rationalize a situation during conversation.
We already know that if your on a date with us, you’ll walk us on the right side of road, open our door, maybe buy dinner and drinks, and try your best to make it smooth. It’s a date, so those things are already somewhat expected. What you don’t know, is how we’re going to feel when your act of kindness spreads joy around you. It makes us giddy to watch someone appreciate you. Such as, complimenting the chef in the kitchen, or letting the person behind you with one grocery item get ahead of you. These are all smaller noticeable gestures we take into account.
The tiniest indication of awareness and inclusivity that you show, is like the ‘scarcity effect’ on us. We want more.