MARRIED? Is your SEX DRIVE ^U^P^ there?

Victoria Harris
4 min readApr 20, 2021

3 Things that Maintain Romance

How long have you been married or in a domestic relationship? How have you maintained that? Who has the bigger sex drive? Why does the person with a lower sex drive have a, lower sex drive? Why did you divorce? Why did you break up with your partner? What part of the relationship died? ……

I don’t have all the answers. I just have my own answers from experience. I’ve been married 16 years and counting. So I’d like to think I know a few things. And when my sex drive is at it’s peak, there’s several things going on:

Shared Household Chores — Pull up a chair and take a seat. You and your partner should read this one. It’s not just my experience here! There’s actual research.

Sharing household tasks improves the quality and satisfaction of your relationship and in turn increases frequency of sexual intercourse ANDDD sexual satisfaction! (see brief below)

Now I’ll be honest. I’ve put more effort into Household chores. My hubby isn’t perfect but he tries and I think that has somewhat balanced the scales. We definitely start hitting a rut if I continue to pick up the slack over and over. But of course, communication is another topic. Nevertheless, it’s a big one for romance. When he puts in work at home, for 1. ‘it is sexy’, 2. I don’t feel like a slave, 3. I feel grateful to have this person/partner in my life and share my space and I definitely want to jump on his back and give him kisses just because I’m probably not tired of doing all the work. I got some energy in me for other things ;)

Deep Conversations — Oooh! Such a big one for me. I’m a passionate deep person. I want to hear the voices in your head, your fears, your concerns, your dreams, your thought process. As people we evolve, we change. There’s a belittlement statement that people use sometimes and say, ‘You’ve changed!!!’ And to be frank, I always say “As I should!” As I get older I realize some of the dumb mistakes I’ve made, I’ve realized how to be more humble and how to live…